Self care

Posted on December 27, 2018

Self care

Do you find that as you start to make your life rich and fulfilling, you start to self sabotage? Or have very negative thoughts creeping in that have no source given how good your life is going?

Have heart, this unfortunately is a normal part of getting healthier. The old deeply integrated negative beliefs and thoughts are hard to remove and require constant diligence to fend off. Why? Well, because they are a part of your unconscious set in early childhood and don’t respond to logic only. They need experiences that you connect to as well as using your consciousness to fend them off and literally rewire your brain.

If you, like many of my clients, have any history of early childhood neglect (1st World kind) or trauma, your brain will not respond to logic, ie. saying common sense, but rather it will require work on many fronts that we address in therapy and you practice in between your sessions.

What are those you ask? Well, first identifying your triggers, then identifying the unhelpful beliefs you have be living off since childhood. Then the heavy lifting of mental work to replace those beliefs while at the same time learning how to identify and manage your feelings so they don’t drive your decision making. Sounds like a lot? It is, but you can do it. As I tell my clients, your issue isn’t one of common sense, if it was, you’d be better.

Instead, chronic anxiety, depression and feelings of deep loneliness are set early in life. Now as an adult we have to do the brain rewiring through positive experiences that you connect to while actively learning how to identify correctly and learn to work with your feelings and thoughts.
So, during happy periods, such as a holiday, you can be attacked. Remember: feelings are not facts! If you are happy, research shows that expressing gratitude to the universe is powerful to rewiring your brain. Just say thank you for all your good experiences. Continue with your exercise, and continue with your activities. Push through the negative state. You’ll see it will pass. And when it does, a know to yourself you did it so your brain learns you can survive a negative state!
Happy day!