We are working on you being alone but not feeling lonely.
This means we need to work with feelings. Since January is a goal setting month we need the goal to start being aware of what we are feeling. Many of my lonely people actually are very disconnected from what they feel. They’ll say they don’t feel. More accurate is they are not aware of what they are feeling and or are not able to label those feelings. This creates problems because those feelings are influencing their decisions and behaviors in unconscious ways.
How can I tell? Because people will give me good logical answers and know what the right thing is to do but they don’t do it. They’ll continue to do things that are harmful to them even though they know it is bad. Why? Because they get powerful negative feelings and thoughts that they are not dealing with consciously. So we need to make it conscious.
So your goal should be to become aware of what you are feeling. You want to do scan a couple times a day. Google and print out a feelings chart. Start to pay attention to how your body feels and corresponding muscles or aches in your body.
The best would be to start writing a feelings journal of all of your feelings through out the day. Paying attention to both positive and negative feelings. What happened in the day that produced those feelings. What thoughts you had. This is a great way to learn about yourself. Is it a lot of work? Maybe… but if you want a better life it will take purposeful work.
Give it a go for 4 weeks and see what you learn about yourself.
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