July 12th 2019

Posted on July 12, 2019

July 12th 2019

Happy July! I’ve been so busy for this month! It’s the summer and things are busier than ever. This month won’t have as many posts as I have some trips and I’m off to do some clinical training.

How is your summer going? Busy? Do you have exciting plans?

A theme I have observed in therapy, and is often related to feelings of loneliness, is having things or people in your life that are not good for you. Sometimes even harmful. Often, in working with my clients, I see that they have invited people into their life that are not good for them.

These types of people that are not good for you may have these following traits or behaviors:

  • You’ll invite them to an outing, they’ll accept, but then at the last minute, the change their minds or they want you to adjust the plans for them.
  • They are often insensitive to your needs or feelings when planning
  • When you are engaging in conversations with them, they only talk about themselves or their problems. They may do a perfunctory inquiry into your life but rapid turn everything into something about them.
  • They often ask you out at the last minute, making you feel like a backup choice
  • They’ll ditch you last minute for something better that comes up.

People who do this often and regularly may not be good for you. Do you have people like this in your life that you call friends? These are people that can make you feel lonely and not worthwhile. You may want to seriously examine these friendships. These are friends that you want to be aware of their behaviors and put boundaries around them.

If you have people in your life that often make you feel bad, invisible or unimportant should be re-evaluated. These are not appropriate ways for you to be treated.

We want people who consider us and our needs. We want people that we can count on and they are reliable and predicable. This makes us feel safe and good.

Have look through the people you associate it with. See if you can re-evaluate relationships that don’t make you feel good.