December 31 2018

Posted on December 31, 2018

December 31 2018

December 31st

Today is the last day of 2018. How was your 2018? Are you satisfied with how it went? Do you want more for 2019? Do you want to feel like your own opinion matters so you don’t need to seek the approval of others? Do you want to be able to better handle being alone and actually learn to enjoy your own company? Do you want to stop focusing on finding that romantic relationship to magically solve all your problems and instead learn to do it yourself? Do you want to stop using alcohol or brain drugs to manage your anxiety and depression? That is true freedom!

I tell my clients, if you comply and do what I tell you and give therapy enough time I can give you true freedom! Freedom means not being dependent on anyone else for your well being. A sign of being a mentally healthy adult. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have relationships with people. But rather you won’t need relationship, especially a romantic one to be happy…

This kind of freedom, true freedom doesn’t come easy and you have to want it. A lot of therapy is helping people explore if they really really want to give up their current way of living… Many people quickly say YES of course I want freedom…. How to do it…
I will tell them, you are not at the HOW yet. First you have to decide you really really want it. That means learning how to be aware of your thoughts and feelings and dealing with being really uncomfortable at times. But I will be your partner you are not alone.

This brings me to step one of freedom… Pushing through your decisions!

In this blog I’m studying being alone without being lonely. You will read a lot about dance in my blogs because dance is so so so good for you on so many levels. For my new year I decided to go out social Latin dancing at the Asian civilization museum. Latin dancing is amazing. You don’t need a partner because it is social. You keep switching partners. It does tend to start late thought often. 9:30pm or 10pm plus in Singapore.

Anyway, for my new year I wanted to feel to joy if dancing and being around others that love this form of communication and celebration. But I am, like my clients, subject to being tired or lacking motivation after a long day of work. However! I have mastered pushing through my decisions because I know this what I need to do be happy.

Come 830pm.i was starting to feel tired after a long day of working and parenting. My determination to go was fading. But here is what I want to remind you and that is necessary for a good life. You need to make healthy decisions for yourself when you are in a good and happy place. Moods and energy change, but you can stick to your decision. So as 830pm rolled around and I need to get ready to leave by 9pm for dancing feeling a bit tired, a bit worried about the turn at the event, thinking about going alone, just as my clients would… I remembered my decision and what I want for myself a d pushed myself to get ready.
At that moment I didn’t feel like it. That doesn’t matter. You don’t need to feel like doing something to do it…. You just do it because your happy self made a decision that this was good for you. So I pushed it through.

Wow! Was I rewarded! I had an amazing time! My feet are sore from 4 hours of salsa and bachata. I met wonderful people. I saw amazing fireworks. I soaked up the lovely energy and joy of people embracing life! Imagine if I let a temporary feeling of “not feeling like it” stop me. I would have missed this amazing ending to 2018 and start of 2019!

Change and living your best life takes commitment. I will be your partner. I want you to live your best life. I know it’s possible. Happy new year!