January 6 2019

Posted on January 6, 2019

January 6 2019

January 6, 2019

Hi! Today’s blog is a bit of a detour from my promised topics on goal setting.

Today is Sunday. A very difficult day for many people struggling with loneliness. One of the biggest reasons is that it is a full day often without any structure. For many people struggling with chronic suffocating loneliness, not have a fully, highly structured day allows the darkness to creep in.

Many of my clients will say to me “oh why can’t I be one of those people who can just sit around and do nothing. I want to be able to relax.” I have a lot of empathy for you my friend. But unfortunately for you and the childhood you had, this is not possible. If you don’t create structure, you will suffer with the blackness of loneliness.

(just as aside, this is one of the things I help my clients with, that is to work to accept who they are. This is the existential aspect of therapy. Accepting things about your life, your situation, your unique reality that you don’t like. Many of us have this. We have parts of our life or our body or our situation that we don’t like and can’t change. The huge task is to see it as it is, accept and then deal with it. This is a lot of processing and work)

I tell my clients to think of this like type 1 diabetes. It is something that you have to live with. The sooner you can accept this about yourself and integrate it, the more natural and easy it will be come and the happier you’ll be.

But again, but to the topic. I wanted to suggest that you create structure for your Sunday.

When I say structure I mean:

7:30am wake

7:45 shower to wake

8am make a coffee

8:-05am to 9am read paper and drink coffee

9am to 945am make breakfast of eggs, toast and fruit

9:45am to 10am clean up

10:00 to 10:20 get ready for exercise (yoga class, running, stretching home gym)

10:30 go exercise for 1 hour

Etc etc etc

If this seems a lot, it is …but this is the structure and discipline my successful employee to beat that lonely dark feeling monester.

The more structure and packed your day is the better you’ll be.

If you are really struggling I wanted to suggest PURGING your house. That’s right. Go through your junk draw and clean it out. Go through your closets, your storage, your kid’s closets and be aggressive and throw out crap that you haven’t used, or worn. I mean it. Be relentless. Cleaning and purging is so healthy and feels good.

Decluttering opens up and your mind and makes your house match your mind. You don’t need stuff that you don’t know is there so throw it out

Plus its an amazing (sucky) and yet invigorating activity. You’ll feel good about yourself and accomplished and very tired after walking all that crap to the garabage.

I did mine today. I have moved so much and I have no problem throw things out, but yet I managed to throw away 6 bags of crap! Where does it all come from. It felt good.

So if you need something to do and pick me up. What are you waiting for? Start the new year right. Plus it’ll fill your Sunday with a very productive activity. Afterwards reward yourself with a nice little healthy treat of something.